God help us! It’s a classic pincers maneuver. America is now being attacked from two directions at once! We are being invaded not just by ground forces from the south–thousands of refugees dragging their stupid tattered sleeping bags and wielding pots and pans to bash our troops with–but now from the north BY AN AIR FORCE numbering in the tens of thousands. Maybe the hundreds of thousands. Could be millions, I don’t know.
Mobilizing another 15,000 soldiers with shoot-to-kill orders can’t stop them, as they fly too high and, anyhow, rifle bullets would never do the job. Shotguns might have, but that stupid Obama administration never thought to equip the military with them. And anyhow, the invaders are flying too high, out of shotgun range.
Get the whole U.S. Air Force up there with heat-seeking missiles, now. Before it’s too late. Once they get over the border and are on U.S. soil, we know what to expect. They are coming to shit on America! Think of it. Turds. Turds, turds, and more turds. Turds, by the millions. On our lawns. Fouling our ponds, Even on our tennis courts and golf courses. Shameless, right out in the open. Oh, God!
President Trump, we implore you to step up and save us, before we have to step in you-know-what. Only you can do it. Please, oh, please, fire off an Executive Order right now, BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!